I found the task of completing the listening survey to be really helpful. I've been in so many frustrating situations where I've felt dismissed or unheard because the person I was speaking with wasn't actively listening to me. Active, authentic listening can prevent so much confusion and conflict and establish a solid and respectful relationship.
What are some of your own listening tendencies?
Going into the survey I would have said "I'm a pretty good listener", but as I went through the questions I realized that I can certainly improve. I was also reminded of strategies that I know are best practice but that I need to actively put in place (I'm looking at you, 'mind wandering to other pressing tasks.') I think I've learned to set distractions aside when communicating, or at least setting clear expectations, such as saying "let me finish this email, then we can talk" or "do you mind if I peek at my phone, I can hear it buzzing and want to make sure everything is ok". This way I send the message to whoever I'm talking to that I value their time and need to be fully present to talk. This can be difficult to do in schools when there are constantly distractions all around, so I'll need to try and create an atmosphere that is as distraction free as possible when talking with my mentee.
What cues might trigger non-productive listening?
Non-productive listening could occur if my mentee is sharing challenges and struggles and I fail to fully listen as I am mentally working through different solutions. This is both a personality trait of mine and something that I think is often reinforced by being in a library. It's our job to find the answers right? Really, our jobs are to help guide others toward their answers and sometimes the best way to find answers is just to listen and provide space for the mentee to speak and work through their challenge aloud.
How does awareness of your own listening habits affect your support of your mentee?
I'm confident that I'll be able to create an environment that will support productive listening through modeling or setting and establishing norms for reducing distractions. It's difficult when those distractions take the form of my own job responsibilities that are creeping in and I begin to mentally start going through my own to do list. I think I can help myself stay focused and present by scheduling meeting times and protecting those times. I can return to other tasks when the meeting ends, and having established times will help me stay in the moment. I know that I'll need to continuously work on staying fully present and not jumping to solutions as well.
How does good listening support your role as a growth agent?
Good listening creates trust and allows people to feel heard and safe. If I can allow my mentee to truly feel heard and then be able to offer meaningful dialogue that leads to successful practices, then everyone benefits. Schools are communities and when people feel supported they are able to do their best work.
Beth, I really like the simplicity of your listening tool, as well as the "star", "stair" strategy. It will make you focus on your mentee's words, while allowing you to reflect on what you did well and what you could improve on. This is a nice, quick way to assess your listening skills!
ReplyDeleteI love that you appreciated the listening survey because of your own frustrations and not being heard! The good news is we all need improvement in learning these skills and it’s just a good thing to be aware of. Distractions, expectations, posture, all play a role. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI especially appreciate your answer about non-productive listening. Since we are all multi-taskers in the work we do, we need to remember to stop and focus on intentional listening, as we guide our mentees. Actually, it is a good thing to keep in mind when we are dealing with our colleagues, our learners, and in our personal lives. The focus on this in our Mentoring Matters coursework has been foundational for me in so many ways. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteJudy